The Real Problem Most People Are Carrying (And It’s Not What You Think)

💭 “Why do I feel like this?”

💭 “What’s wrong with me?”

💭 “Everyone else seems to cope better than I do.”

These are some of the most common thoughts I hear in therapy — and they point to the real problem many people are quietly living with.

It’s not weakness. It’s not failure. And it’s not that you’re broken.

🌱 The core issue: feeling unsafe inside yourself

At the heart of anxiety, phobias, burnout, people-pleasing, addiction, low self-esteem and trauma is often this belief:

“Something is wrong with me.”

This belief doesn’t usually come from logic — it comes from experience.

Many people grew up learning (often very subtly) that:

• their emotions were “too much”

• they needed to stay alert, useful, quiet, good or in control

• love or safety felt conditional

• there wasn’t space to just be

So the nervous system adapted.

🧠 These patterns were never flaws — they were protection

Anxiety isn’t your enemy. Avoidance isn’t laziness. Control isn’t stubbornness. Numbness isn’t failure.

They are survival strategies — clever, intelligent responses to a world that once felt overwhelming, unpredictable or unsafe.

The problem isn’t that these patterns exist. The problem is that they’re still running your life long after the danger has passed.

🔄 Why “just coping better” doesn’t work

Many people come to therapy hoping to:

• “get rid of anxiety”

• “stop overthinking”

• “feel normal again”

But when we only try to manage symptoms, we miss the deeper need.

What people are really longing for is:

✨ safety inside themselves

✨ a calm nervous system

✨ self-trust

✨ the feeling of being enough as they are

Without that, anxiety simply finds a new place to land.

💛 Healing isn’t about fixing — it’s about understanding

Therapy isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about understanding why you became this way — with compassion, not judgement.

When your nervous system feels safer:

• anxiety softens

• control loosens

• confidence grows

• life feels lighter and more spacious

Not because you tried harder — but because your system finally learned it didn’t have to protect you in the same way anymore.

🌿 You don’t have to carry this alone

If any of this resonates, please know:

You are not broken.

You are not behind.

And you are not too much.

You adapted — and now you’re allowed to heal.

At Very Therapy, I offer warm, professional, trauma-informed support to help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface and gently move towards feeling safer, calmer and more like yourself again.

👉 Book your session at www.verytherapy.com/book

You don’t need a diagnosis.

You don’t need the “right words. ”Just a willingness to start.

I’ll meet you where you are. 🤍

—Roseanna

Senior Accredited Counsellor

Specialising in anxiety, trauma, phobias, loss & addictions

Online therapy for adults & children aged 8+